Desert Down

Albert "Jolly" Trasbiis lightly touched the controls on the Black Hawk, turning the machine to the north. His co-pilot, Jacky Wilkes, stared out of the window at the desert - bored again. Albert couldn't understand how the man could be bored. He'd only just been shipped out to Afghanistan, a replacement for Albert's former co, who'd been killed by a snake - of all things.
It was only the second day of deplyment for Wilkes, and he should have still been interested at the landscape around them.
"What's up with you?"
"I fucking hate this country, it's hot, dry and I miss my wife."
"We all miss our wives man, don't sweat it."
"Easy for you to say. My wife is twenty two, body like a pornstar and the libido of a nymphomaniac. If I don't get home soon, she'll have fucked the entire male population of Chicago by the time I get home!"
Albert rolled his eyes, everybody had a reason to get back. A nympho wife was a good one, but other guys missed their kids, a couple were single parents who'd had to leave the rugrats with the grandparents. He couldn't feel that bad for the guy.
In the back were the rest of the crew, as his thoughts drifted to them, the alarm sounded. There was just enough time for him to hear Wilkes yell "Fuck. RPG, three-o-clock!" before something exploded at the tail rotor.
Alarms began to blare out like a crazed electronic concert as the helicopter began to spin. Wilkes was screaming and being no help, so Albert was forced to attempt the landing by himself. The ground came up to meet them at a hundred miles an hour and the world came to a stop by his nose in a screech of rending metal and the screams of mutilated men.

Albert awoke in enormous pain, he could see his legs were crushed and trapped uunder the weight of the console which had been slammed into them by the force of the crash.
Looking to his left he could see Wilkes' head had been damned near ripped from his shoulders, he couldn't make out anything behind him, but there was no movement from the crew, he thought they must all be dead.
All the moving about had exhausted him and he passed out.

When he woke again he could hear shouting from outside, Arabic, angry sounding and there was the familiar noise of an AK being cocked.
Albert was feeling weak, the slight warmth he had felt low down earlier was now cold and he realised that he was bleeding to death while he sat there. He felt very light-headed and was almost relieved when a bearded face peered through the smashed windscreen.
"How ya doing?"
The man spat at him then turned to look at Wilkes' body. Then he laughed.
"Funny fucker, ain't ya? I love a good joke. Told one so funny my buddy here laughed his head damn near clean off."
The man stared at him, then in clear English said "That was some joke. Here is another. We will burn this flying machine of hate, and cook you inside. How is that for funny, fucker?"
Albert stared for a moment then began to laugh wildly, insanely and unstoppably. The tears ran down his face and his cheeks hurt. Air could not get into his lungs and he thought he might actually die laughing.
The man stared at him and his expression of confusion spurred Albert to laugh even harder.
Then a noise from the left made him look. Wilkes' arms were patting about, as if looking for his head. When they found it they settled it back in place and grunted.
The Afghani man screamed in horror and emptied his clip into Wilkes' already ruined body.
"Would you stop that?" asked Wilkes "This day has been really shitty so far. You aren't helping."
The man screamed as Wilkes wormed his ruined body out of the harness and across the cockpit before ramming a piece of metal into the man's eye.
"He was really annoying. Stop laughing would you?"
Albert had continued to laugh the whole time, and Wilkes' hurt expression made it even worse. He could feel himself losing conciousness again, this time he suspected it would be his last time. The final sight he had in the world was of Wilkes' put-upon expression as the man said "You can't leave me here in the desert like this. I just died and I fucking hate the desert!"